I Fail Because I Am

The thing I take
most solace from
is the knowledge
that I know I am
the agent of my
own failures.

These are calculated
necessities, my
own machinations,
lamented but not
regretted, because
they represent
who and what I am,
and I cannot conceive
anything else, for
it would not be me.
Perhaps I could be
happy if only I did
not insist on my own
devices, but they are
what I know and what
I am; without them
I would be nothing,
not even a thought.
Thoughts are not
a thing, but rather
the manifestation of it,
even if they can drive
one mad. I know I am,
but what are you?
I strive to build on
my failures, my
weaknesses, because
I don't want them to
define me, because
their existence proves
the rule of mine, and
if I let them win, then
I will have accomplished
nothing, and that's exactly
wha I hope to avoid,
even as I fail because I am
a person who either succeeds
greatly or fails the same way,
with the middle ground hard
won but enjoyed bitterly.