The Shooter

A year later
and I'm still
trying to figure
it out.
What happened?

Well, I know
what happened, or
at least what
everyone's best
guess is (not
since that day
have I been able
to view homicide
the same way, not
even with the
Law & Orders
still buzzing),
but it's the why...

Why did it end
up happening?
The medical
reports are
full of reasons,
and the speculations
have been pretty
constant, but
in the end,
I still have
not been
satisfied.
Everyone is
too happy
either
dodging or
condemning
him. Well,
I'm not.

Recently,
I've begun
to think,
maybe it was
inevitable.
His was the last
link of a chain
that strung through
wrestling's new
golden age, where
it became okay
for the public
to admit a taste
for it, even as
pressures mounted,
scandals hovered,
and it became
harder to prove
what a wrestling
purist was.
I think he was
just caught in
the middle.

Two of the stars
he emulated ended
their careers
ominously, one
bowing out suddenly,
the other after a long
personal struggle
that saw everything
he treasured
crumble around him.
Even so, his love,
his passion continued,
and he was even given
a shot no one believed
he'd win, and so did
his last best friend,
who died.

Too few have recognized
how much impact that
must have had, the tradition
it was ensconced in, how
there had to be an end.
His last responsibility,
the last crippling,
must be his.

His legacy seemed
doomed to be lost,
and that would have
been the real tragedy,
for all he had fought
for would too
have been lost.
He was the last
of the shooters,
the last, and he had
no pupil, except history,
and to history
he now belongs.
It would be best
to remember him,
the rabid wolverine,

Chris Benoit.